Right Relationship is a Permanent Commitment to Faithfulness

There are an infinite number of opinions about the purpose and value of dating.  It’s just fun . . . to have a good time.  It’s necessary . . . to figure out who we are compatible with.  It’s “practice” . . . to see if we can make each other happy.  We can say whatever we want, but dating ultimately has one purpose . . . it’s a time when we spend exclusive time with someone to explore the possibility of getting married.  It’s serious, it’s exclusive, and commonly includes increased physical intimacy (sitting close, holding hands, kissing, etc)!  Who are we kidding!?!  Dating is a deep investigative relationship moving toward marriage.  Dating is not bad, there is an appropriate time to begin expressing our interest in someone and displaying our ability to love and care for them.

READ: Genesis 2:24-25

Marital companionship is a PERMANENT RELATIONSHIP established by GOD between one MAN and one WOMAN!  There are 3 distinct opposite gender relationship zones, the friend “zone”, the dating “zone”, and the marriage “zone”.  These are 3 very distinct zones which reveal an obvious progression.  We move out of the friend zone into the dating zone by asking (or being asked) the question, “would you go out with me?”  We move out of the dating zone into the marriage zone by asking (or being asked) the question, “would you marry me”?  By God’s design, our interest in the opposite gender leads to movement through the zones toward marriage.  In Matthew 19:3-6 Jesus answered a question about divorce saying, “He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become on flesh?’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together; let not man separate.”  The phrase “joined together” literally means to “yoke with”.  A yoke is an instrument placed the shoulders of two animals in order to unite and coordinate their work together.  God is the one who places this yoke on marital companions and sexual immorality is the only reason we ever have permission to remove it.  How do we know when we are ready to date/be married?

Marital companionship involves LEAVING our PARENTS (Gen. 2:24) – Some of us may stand up, cheer, and say, “all right, sign me up, I’m ready NOW!”  Slow down, not so fast.  Leaving parents is not about getting out from under their authority.  It’s about abandoning our 1) dependency on our parents and 2) our allegiance to them. Leaving parents means no longer needing to rely on them for anything and being prepared to provide for one another.  Marriage Prep Question #1:  Am I mature enough to live 100% INDEPENDENT of my parent’s SPIRITUAL, RELATIONAL, EMOTIONAL, and FINANCIAL support?  God put parents in our lives to prepare us for the day when we would live independent of them.  Our readiness to date and be married is dependent on whether God is done using our parents to instill in us all the wisdom we need for life.  The more we honor and obey our parents the sooner we’ll be ready to date and be married (Ex. 20:12; Deut. 5:16, Eph. 6:1-3).

Marital companionship involves HOLDING FAST to a SPOUSE (Gen. 2:24) – What “The Lego Movie” villain Lord Business called “Kragle”, God calls “holding fast”.  What Lord Business used to try to get people to permanently quit “messing with his stuff”, God uses to permanently bond marital companions together.  The word “hold fast” means to “cling” or “stick” to another.  Marriage is relationship cemented together by God.  Marriage Prep Question #2: Am I mature enough to commit to SELFLESSLY and SACRIFICIALLY care for all the NEEDS of another person no matter what?  Holding fast is an unconditional commitment to love another person no matter what.  Our ability to unconditionally love others and stick with them is a good test of whether we are ready to date and be married (Mk. 12:31).

Marital companionship involves becoming ONE FLESH with a SPOUSE (Gen. 2:24) – God is either a bad mathematician or He knows something that we don’t know.  According to God 1+1=1.  Just like God Himself (1+1+1=1), marriage is a mathematical mystery.  A married man and women experience unity and oneness like no other relationship.  Marriage Prep Question #3: Am I mature enough to remain INSEPARABLY UNITED to a spouse for the rest of my life? Before a marriage there is “he” and “she”, after a marriage there is an entirely new entity called “us”.  Our ability to live in unity and oneness with others is a good test of whether we are ready to date and be married (Rom. 12:16; Phil. 2:2).

CONCLUSION
Marriage has been beautifully designed by God!  Don’t allow your interest in the opposite gender to motivate you to just have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but rather to prepare you for a marriage that will honor God and reflect His image.  Are you spending more time worrying about who you are going to date or preparing for a lifetime of marital companionship?