Forgive One Another

If we are in a car accident, we do not want to hear that our car has been totaled.  If a car is totaled it means that the cost of the repairs exceeds the value of the car.  A totaled car is no longer worth investing time or money, and therefore goes unrepaired, and is abandoned in a junkyard.  Sometimes we determine that a relationship has been totaled.  Someone lies to us and we feel like we can no longer trust them.  Someone is inconsiderate or ignores us enough times and we feel angry and bitter.  Someone is rude, cruel, or makes fun of us and we feel hatred toward them.  When someone offends, wrongs, or sins against us, we quickly develop an attitude of, “you owe me!”  The damage done to the relationship is costly and they are indebted to us.  When the hurt is so deep and the offense so great that they couldn’t pay us back if they tried, we consider the relationship totaled and the effort to repair it is beyond what it is worth!  Is there any hope for a relationship that has been totaled?

READ:  Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13

God has given us a relational “tool” to repair a totaled relationship, Godly Relational Characteristic #9: FORGIVE one another!  The greek word χαιρω, where we get the word “forgive” has a few other distinct meanings including “joy” (χαρα) and “grace” (χαρις). A primitive definition of forgiveness could be “to restore joy through grace”.  Forgiving one another in the context of Eph. 4:32 and Col. 3:13 means to, “bring joy by RELEASING another from the CONSEQUENCE of their offense”.  Forgiveness is the powerful relational tool that God has given us to use to repair “totaled” relationships!  Many of us never use this tool because it seems unfair, but if we can’t offer forgiveness to others, God will not offer it to us (Mt. 18:23-25; Lk. 6:37).

READ:  Luke 7:36-50

Forgiveness is offered FREELY by the one to whom a debt is owed (Lk. 7:41) – The moneylender in Jesus’ parable, rather than hold the debt above their head, chose to cancel the “debt of both” without expectation of any repayment since neither of them were able to pay.  Forgiveness is a gift of grace given by of the one who has been offended.  Forgiveness is not given because the debtor deserves it or has earned it, but a choice which communicates that love and joy in relationship are more important than being repaid a debt we are owed.

Forgiveness is CANCELLING a DEBT that cannot be REPAID (Lk. 7:42) – A denari was worth a little less than 2 days wages.  Therefore, 500 denarii was worth about 20 month’s wages and 50 denarii was worth about 2 months wages. In both cases, for whatever reason, the debtors were not able to repay what was owed.  Forgiveness needs to be extended to others in relationship whether the debt is great or small.  Therefore, forgiveness is not only a tool to repair relationships that have been totaled but to maintain relationships as well!

Forgiveness restores the joy of receiving and giving LOVE in a relationship (Lk. 7:44-46) – The sinful woman’s expression of love is an outpouring of gratitude as a result of her debt of sin being cancelled.  The debt of her sin locked her in a prison of guilt and shame, but once forgiven she was free to give and receive love in relationship with God again.  Others will sin against us, but we must not imprison them with unforgiveness.  By forgiving, we set others, and ourselves, free to express love and share joy in relationship once again.

CONCLUSION
We are all debtors to God with a bill we cannot pay.  Our unpaid debt of sin is deserving of God locking us in jail and throwing away the key for eternity.  The good news in Colossians 2:13 is that, “(we), who were dead in our trespasses . . ., God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross”.  Amazingly, God did MORE than cancel our debt and allow it to go unpaid, He paid the debt Himself by dying on the cross for our sin.  THIS is our example of how we are to forgive others, “as God in Christ forgave you”.  God willingly offers to bring joy back to our relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.